Moving on is a personal journey. You dont need to compare how far you have moved on with how far your ex did, comparison kills your happiness. Comparison in moving on shows that you are still bounded by somebody in the past and also the whole stories that happened.
There are some kinds of comparison that dont look like comparison but actually it is comparison. If you try to get somebody new out of their superiority (instead of true feeling) that is you think higher than your ex, you are in comparison. If you try to find out what and who their new lovers are, you are in comparison. If you feel insecure about them being with someone new you might be either controlled by your ego or in the state of comparing.
Comparison shows that you let yourself to be controlled, you are not yourself, you dont do what you want to do, comparison shows your confidence is broken. Trying to act cool in front of your ex, like you less appreciate them-while you should appreciate them as a friend or a person-doesn’t show that you are cool and high, it shows you are insecure about your own self-value and most of all shows that you are not moved on yet.
I am sorry for telling the truth, but it is human nature but that doesn’t mean we can handle it, you gotta spend a lot of time alone and sharing with your own soul, asking humble self-questions, without fear of judgement. Moving on comes along with shame somehow. And people try so hard to hide their shames, but they dont know hiding shame is only grow shame itself to become even bigger.
I last night wathced a video of researcher named Brene Brown, an expert of shame, perfectionism, vulnerability, and she said
“Shame grows through, silence, secrecy and judgement…To overcome shame, you should talk to yourself like you talk to someone you love, reach out somebody you trust, and tell your story…shame can not survive being spoken and being met with empathy”
So now, stop comparing, love yourself, reach out somebody trustworthy with empathy, tell your story, kill your shame, and move on healthy.
Ps: Play hero instead of playing victim because when you play as victim you cant put yourself in a vision of a winner, and build the life you dreamed about.